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Years ago I gave an Elul class at YCT, applying behavioral principles to teshuva. Ironically, I never actually adopted any of the behavioral measures I suggested. I don’t snap a rubber band when I say lashon hara, or reward myself with a chocolate kiss when I refrain. Knowing how to change doesn’t mean that I’m willing to do what it takes. I intend to change, I promise myself and God that I will change, but I rarely take steps to see it through.
Amazingly, intention to change seems all that is demanded of us by Parashat Teshuva, the passage in Parashat Nitzavim that the Sages associate with the mitzvah of Teshuva (Dev. 30:2-3):
וְשַׁבְתָּ עַד־ה‘ אֱ-לֹהֶיךָ וְשָׁמַעְתָּ בְקֹלוֹ כְּכֹל אֲשֶׁר־אָנֹכִי מְצַוְּךָ הַיּוֹם אַתָּה וּבָנֶיךָ בְּכָל־לְבָבְךָ וּבְכָל־נַפְשֶׁךָ׃ וְשָׁב ה‘ אֱ-לֹהֶיךָ אֶת־שְׁבוּתְךָ וְרִחֲמֶךָ וְשָׁב וְקִבֶּצְךָ מִכָּל־הָעַמִּים אֲשֶׁר הֱפִיצְךָ ה‘ אֱ-לֹהֶיךָ שָׁמָּה׃
You will return to God, and you and your children will hear God’s voice with all your hearts and souls, just as I enjoin upon you this day, then God will restore your fortunes and take you back in love. God will bring you together again from all the peoples where your God has scattered you.
After thorough punishment (Devarim 28:15-48), Jews must return to God. How? By hearing God’s voice. Usually this phrase refers to obedience, so perhaps behavioral change is necessary after all. However, after the Torah describes the redemption, it says (30: 6-8),
וּמָל ה‘ אֱ-לֹהקיךָ אֶת-לְבָבְךָ, וְאֶת-לְבַב זַרְעֶךָ: לְאַהֲבָה אֶת-ה‘ אֱ-לֹהֶיךָ, בְּכָל-לְבָבְךָ וּבְכָל-נַפְשְׁךָ…וְאַתָּה תָשׁוּב, וְשָׁמַעְתָּ בְּקוֹל ה’; וְעָשִׂיתָ, אֶת-כָּל-מִצְוֹתָיו…
Then God will circumcise your heart and the hearts of your offspring—to love God with all your heart and soul…Then you will again heed God and obey all the divine commandments…
As part of the teshuva transformation, God will circumcise our hearts and we will finally do Mitzvot. There is, at least the suggestion, that doing Mitzvot is not a condition of teshuva, just hearing God’s voice.
The Rabbis confirm this in a midrash about Cain and Adam. They say (Vay. R. 10:5)
כיון שיצא פגע בו אדם הראשון אמ’ לו מה נעשה בדינך, אמ’ לו עשיתי תשובה ופירשתי. כיון ששמע אדם הראשון כך התחיל טופח על פניו, אמ’ כל כך היא כוחה שלתשובה ולא הייתי יודע.
When [Cain] left [God], he met Adam [his father]. He asked, ‘What was decided?’ He said to him, ‘I did teshuva and was reprieved.’ When Adam heard this, he began striking his face. He said, ‘Such is the power of teshuva and I didn’t know!’
It is still too soon for Cain to have taken any action or changed behavior. His verbal conciliation was, apparently, sufficient. How can it be that easy?
In my experience, real intention can lead to change. But I am referring to constant, habitual intention: tefillah be-kavana (intention in prayer).
One example: Chonen HaDa’at (“Give Knowledge”), the fourth blessing of the Shemonah Esreh, sometimes troubles me. The Talmud (Ber. 29a, Meg. 17b) says that we request aid distinguishing right from wrong. But I’ve got a dirty secret. I actually know right from wrong. The kol demama daka (small, quiet voice) inside my head, regularly tells me what’s right. I just frequently rationalize it away. So…What am I praying for? What’s the point of knowing right from wrong if I so often choose to do wrong?
King Solomon set the standard for requesting wisdom of God (1K 3:9). He asks for לֵ֤ב שֹׁמֵ֙עַ֙ לִשְׁפֹּ֣ט אֶֽת־עַמְּךָ֔ לְהָבִ֖ין בֵּֽין־ט֣וֹב לְרָ֑ע a heart that listens and understands others. When I get to Chonen HaDa’at now, I think about the person who has driven me craziest lately. I try to understand them, and I ask for help. This is where teshuva comes in! The more I focus on this, the kinder my temper becomes. It’s also easier for me to apologize to those who need it. Taking time daily to understand others actually makes me easier going in practice. The regular repetition of my intention keeps it clear and present in my mind.
Teshuva is not one moment. It’s an intention fueled by multiple daily reminders in Tefillah. I may not be ready to embrace proactive teshuva. But I use my habits, especially tefillah, to reinforce my intention to change and let that consciousness bring teshuva to me.
To read this post in Spanish, click here
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